Secret Santa
by Againstnormal
Summary: Konoha is doing Secret Santa and Temari is roped into it. Not knowing who has her, she still can't think of what to get him. Shikamaru is slightly more informed. Oneshot.


"Everyone over here!" Genma yelled.

Shikamaru pulled out of his slouch with a groan. Why _Secret_ Santa? Everyone in the Secret Santa pool had a very private life. They were all _ninjas_! No one would know what to get the person they drew.

"Every Jounin in the village, come over here!" Genma glanced around, checking for anyone trying to escape. "And you too, Temari! He said, obviously spotting her walking away.

Shikamaru slid over and grabbed a piece of paper from the top. He didn't look at it, he just stuck it in his pocket. Genma was grinning.

"What's up with you?" He asked. Genma was smiling for no reason? Or maybe he just enjoyed seeing Shikamaru have to do something other than looking at the clouds and ANBU missions.

Shikamaru sighed. And the clouds were _perfect_ today... Maybe he could just-

Genma slapped him on the back of the head. "Nara Shikamaru! Don't look at the sky, look at that piece of paper in your pocket. And if you don't..." Genma seemed to ponder for a bit. "I'll tell Tsunade you're the one who stole her last bottle of sake."

Shikamaru grimaced. Knowing Genma... he'd do it too. Genma would have no qualms about unleashing the Hokage on Shikamaru if he didn't get his way.

Shikamaru walked back to his apartment, that little scrap of paper in his pocket. He couldn't tell the future, but he had the feeling Genma was setting him up. Maybe it would be Kakashi... whoever got him would have to get him porn, because what else did the copy ninja even like?

Buying porn would be very embarrassing... nothing he couldn't get over... but still.

He slid onto the couch in his flat, expecting the worst. He slowly pulled the paper out.

Temari.

Genma is a dead man. Shikamaru thought to himself. Genma knew that Temari and him had a long standing rivalry, and friendship.

In other words, after dealing with Ino for so long, he was amazed by how down to Earth Temari was. And how she covered everything up, but her clothing left little to the imagination.

With Shikamaru's mind, he liked that. Analytical people like to know everything before they've even started it.

But now Genma was trying to set him up with her? Couldn't Genma just wait until Shikamaru just got around to asking her out? Why couldn't he just wait?

And who had gotten _him_?Surely Genma wouldn't be so set on the couple that Temari would get him... right?

No. Genma would do it. And Temari would come and sneak in to try to find an idea for a present. Just like he would be doing to her.

He left the door to his porch unlocked just in case. It would be interesting to see what was moved.

"And you too, Temari!" She heard behind her. She'd hoped he wouldn't see her, why would she want to do Secret Santa?

No one knew anything about her, so how could they be expected to get her an even halfway decent present?

It wouldn't be exactly fair of her to expect a present from them _at all._ She was a ninja from the Sand! She wasn't a Leaf!

She slid the scrap of paper into her red sash, walking back to the flat she was staying in.

She opened the door slowly. This was a borrowed apartment, and she was a deadly ninja, so she had no problems with leaving the door unlocked. However, years spent in the Sand had taught her to be cautious.

Setting down her fan, she reached around in her sash for the paper.

She read it quickly, knowing she'd probably have to investigate to see what that person was like. It isn't like she was friendly with most people in the Leaf...

Shikamaru.

Temari laughed slightly. This was one of the only ninjas that she _knew,_ but it would still be hard to shop for him. He was a friend... and a rival... and she had used her last gift idea for his birthday.

Temari wished she had more knowledge of the Leaf. Why had Genma, who was handing out the Secret Santa names smiled at her like he knew something she didn't...

Unless...

Oh damn. She was being set up with Nara Shikamaru. Not that Temari minded... but were _all _of the Leaf ninjas perverted?

She tilted her head, thinking about the men she knew from the leaf.

Genma, who set her up on this damn thing in the first place.

Kakashi... definitely a pervert. He reads porn in broad daylight. In _public._

Shikamaru was at times... among friends, or after alcohol. She turned a bit red remembering... _Okay, snap back to the present, Temari._ She thought.

On with the list... Jiraiya wrote porn for Christ's sake.

Naruto trained under said porn writer.

Yeah... the entire Hidden Leaf Village is perverts, Temari decided. She hadn't even said anything about the girls.

And god knows. The girls were just as big of perverts as the guys.

Shikamaru opened the door slowly. He wouldn't have expected any more security than that from Temari. Not locked. No hair over the handle. No protective Jutsus. Nothing.

She knew what she could handle. And she could handle most of the ninjas in the Leaf. Even quite a few of the ANBU.

She'd taken down one of the top kunoichis of Leaf, TenTen, in about five seconds flat back in the Chuunin exams.

Her flat was more bare than his. Which was just to be expected of a borrowed flat, he supposed. She wouldn't have had much time to buy furniture, and it wouldn't be worth it if she was just moving soon.

He immediately found her own possessions and looked through them. He had _no idea_ what to get her for Christmas. He figured looking at her hobbies might help him.

But it didn't look like she really had any. Shikamaru sighed. It definitely wouldn't be good for his hopeful dating future with her if he got her a bad present...

He sighed. It was all such a hassle. He looked through her pictures with a smile. She only had five, all of them must be of some importance.

He wouldn't try to figure out a girl though. Way too complicated for _any_ mind to think about. Even _women _sometimes didn't understand women.

There was a picture of her brothers and her, which he smiled at. Gaara actually looked like he might have been having fun in that picture. Temari was smacking Kankuro on the head with her fan, trying to steal his puppet.

Three of them were pictures of a night out with Hinata, TenTen, Sakura, and Ino. He could remember that night. Almost everyone who was a ninja had stayed in the next day. The girls were never all together due to missions...

And every time they were... it was a memorable occasion. And Sakura, Ino, and Temari were just downright crabby when they had a hangover.

Hinata acted no different, and TenTen just was a bit clumsier than usual. But Sakura, Ino, and Temari... especially Ino... tore your head off for the slightest comment. Like a simple "How was your night?" would get a man his sensitive area kicked and his self sprawled on the sidewalk.

There was a picture of Sakura and her with Lee. Sakura had lost a bet and had gone on a date with Lee, but had drug Temari with her.

And the last one was... Shikamaru's eyes widened. It was him and her. They were playing chess and laughing. It must have been Chouji that took the picture.

They both looked so happy... she had gotten him to play and not just lay around watching the clouds all day. She could get him to do anything she wanted.

Shikamaru left her house with a groan, he still had no idea what to get her for Christmas.

He'd have to actually ask her. But then she might be pissed that he ruined "Secret" Santa for her.

_ Women..._

Temari stood on top of his sloped roof, staring down at the ground. She had already gotten a chess set for Shikamaru's birthday, she wasn't sure what else to get him now.

She watched the rain fall on the roof beneath her and slid over the edge on to the ground. What could Shikamaru possibly want?

Temari saw the pineapple head in question come bobbing out of the building beneath her. _About time, _she thought with a grin. She was only going to do some... investigative searching... as long as Shikamaru didn't find out, she'd be fine.

And she definitely wasn't doing this because she wanted to answer her long-lived question. Was it boxers or briefs under those Jounin pants? Or maybe... it was nothing at all.

Temari closed her eyes for a second. Now was not the time to be daydreaming about what was under Nara Shikamaru's uniform.

She bent down, grabbing the area at the edge the roof and swung around, thankfully hitting his porch with a dull thud from her sandals.

She reached out tentatively, hoping Shikamaru left his door unlocked like her. He did. She slid it open and slid it shut quickly.

Doing a Jutsu that would put small points of light on her fingertips, she glanced around. Shikamaru's flat was bare. Very bare. It didn't look like he spent much time there.

It looked a lot like her flat, now that she thought about it. There was only one shelf of pictures and knick-knacks. She silently walked over to it, making sure not to disturb anything in her path.

The shelf was fairly simple itself, but it held quite a few things. There was some pictures, an old pack of cigarettes... and what looked like a chess piece.

She jumped to the idea that many people do. That pictures tell everything. But with Shikamaru's pictures, the reasons they were up there were so simple it was almost too easy to see.

There was a picture of his Genin team, Ino, Chouji, Asuma, and himself. And there was a picture of Sai, Naruto, and Sakura. Sakura looked like she wanted to kill Sai. And lastly there was a picture of herself and him after the Chuunin exams.

She laughed quietly, examining it. The younger Temari looked happy, and Shikamaru just looked bored. It seemed like most of the pictures were either up there for remembrance, or because he thought they were funny. She set the pictures down, disappointed with her findings, and moved on to the white chess piece.

It was a bishop... Temari remembered only one thing special about that piece. It was the last piece Shikamaru had taken when she had lost to him the first time.

She was surprised that he even still had it. But was a bit happy that maybe, just maybe... he had two things that were meant to remember her by.

Temari grinned. She still had no clue what to get him for Christmas, but finding that had sure made her more optimistic. She tiptoed to his bedroom.

She was going to answer that fateful question.

She searched for an underwear drawer or something, but there wasn't one. Temari realized that Shikamaru probably thought putting on an extra layer was just a hassle. So he didn't.

Shikamaru was commando under those Jounin pants. Temari closed her eyes. She could think about that _later_. For now, there was someone coming in the front door.

She'd have to just ask him what he wanted for Christmas, but for now...

She had to go. The sliding door was outside from the living room. And so was the front door. Soo... if they were unlocking the door...

_Oh shit._

Temari ran outside as fast as she could, but quietly too, and slid the door open. She grasped the handle and flung herself outside, shutting it softly.

Safe.

She could see Shikamaru walk into the room and glance around. His eyes focused on the draperies that should have been covering the sliding glass door and he walked towards them.

Her eyes widened. He couldn't be...

Oh damn. He was coming towards the door. The _glass _door. As in... _a see-through area. _Shit!

She scrambled from the door, throwing herself up onto the roof. She couldn't let Shikamaru see that she'd been in his flat. It was just an invasion of privacy, even if she was about to admit that she was the one who was his secret Santa.

She sighed, pulling herself around the roof, then dropping to the sidewalk. She was pleased to see that her hair and clothes weren't out of place. She could go ask him right now.

And maybe check out his ass.

And tell him that she really really liked him.

She groaned. Maybe it could wait until- then she stopped herself. With that kind of procrastination... she'd _turn into_ Shikamaru. And wasn't that a scary thought?

Temari knocked softly, smoothing down her skirt. She was nervous. Very very nervous.

"Hey Temari." Shikamaru said from the door with a smile. Temari smiled up at him, trying to keep her eyes on his face. He wasn't wearing a shirt. "Come on in." He smiled.

She nodded, walking inside. He gestured to the couch, saying something about getting dressed. The inner Temari wanted to say "No! DON'T!" but of course she didn't. But she considered it.

Shikamaru sat on the couch opposite her with a grin. "What brings you?" He asked.

"Well..." Temari looked outside at the snow. It was the first time it had snowed all year. "I'm your Secret Santa..." she said. Shikamaru grinned.

"I know." He said.

"And you're mine." Temari said with a grin, leaning back.

"Genma... is a lot of things... but subtle is not one of them." Shikamaru laughed.

"Sooo... what do you want for Christmas?" She asked.

"I have some ideas..." Shikamaru said, kissing her on the lips. Temari's eyes widened. Did he mean?

He did.

Temari's lips curved into a smile as he led her to his bedroom. And then she wrapped her lips around his.

"Shika..." She whispered as he lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist

He smiled against her neck as she reached down to the zipper on his Jounin vest. His tongue brushed against her bottom lip and she opened her mouth, happy to provide entrance to the man she'd wanted since her young days as a chuunin. She groaned as he flicked his tongue against hers. But he wasn't the only one who was going to have fun.

Temari finished unzipping Shikamaru's vest, letting her hands trail down. Temari suddenly realized she loved whoever had designed the Jounin uniforms. Slip-on pants. Easy to get off. She left them on for the moment though.

"Mmmm..." he whispered with a grin. She smiled and gasped as Shikamaru kissed her wrist. Who knew that area could be so sensitive?

She felt Shikamaru's hand rub her inner thigh under her dress. "Oh you're just mean."

"Shika…" Her broken whisper of desire sent more chills down his spine, her arms wrapping loosely around his neck. She whimpered as he nibbled her earlobe.

He grinned and asked, "does this sash just undo like a Christmas present?"

He looked shocked, and then smiled. She grinned. She understood that he had just realized that she hadn't worn anything but a bra under that dress.

"It's laundry day." She said, laughing at the look on his face.

Shikamaru trailed hot kissed down her jaw line before devouring her mouth with his. She responded immediately, her lips puckering to find his own. His lips parted to trace her lips lightly with his tongue. He begged her for entrance to her mouth. She complied.

She brushed her tongue against his, making him growl with approval. His kiss became rougher as his hand snaked around her neck. Temari broke the kiss, gasps for air escaping her lips.

Temari felt for the small rubber band that held his hair into his ponytail. She pulled it off smoothly, his dark hair pooling around his shoulders. Temari wove her fingers deeply in his hair, scratching his scalp lightly with her fingernails.

A shudder ran down her spine as Shikamaru laid her back on the dark green comforter of the bed. He pulled her mesh shirt over her head, revealing her breasts. His eyes narrowed in lust.

"Temari..." He hissed silently in her ear, Temari's lips curving up into a smirk. She pulled his pants slowly down his hips. He shuddered again, his eyes scrunching up in pleasure. He crashed his lips to hers again, his tongue immediately invading her mouth again.

"Shika...ugh…please…I need you….Shikamaru…ugh…just…FUCK ME!" She shook her head from side to side, glad she had said the words, the lust taking over her senses.

Shikamaru shoved himself into her with one quick thrust. Shikamaru couldn't hold back anymore, he moved inside of her mercilessly. As she felt intense pleasure, Temari wrapped her arms around his neck raising her hips to meet his pace. A coiling was building up low in her stomach. Groans and sighs escaped their lips as they continued.

The coiling became so tight that is was on the verge of pain, before white hot pleasure exploded her mind, a moan escaping her lips as her shuddered in ecstasy, stars appearing in her vision.

He collapsed on top of Temari, his arms not able to hold himself up anymore. He rolled on his side, his arms wrapping lazily around her waist.

"Merry Christmas." Shikamaru said in a low voice.

"And that wasn't _too _troublesome, was it?" Temari said, her panting making the sarcasm harder to notice.

"Oh no, not at all. Almost as good as watching the clouds."

Temari's eyebrows lifted at "almost". "Oh. We'll fix that." She said, standing and pulling him to the shower.

Shikamaru's next door neighbor heard this all with a smile, but then he cringed. "Damn. Now I owe Hatake fifty dollars." He said, playing with the senbon in his mouth.

Konoha is full of perverts.


End file.
